A Guide to Emotional Intelligence and Wellbeing

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Introduction
Have you ever heard about emotional intelligence (EQ)? 
This concept was introduced by the Psychologist Daniel Goleman long time ago and it is very useful to improve wellbeing and mental health. Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify, understand, regulate, and express emotions in ourselves and others.
Emotions are complex, and many of us were never taught how to manage or even recognize them. Developing emotional intelligence is key to improving your relationships, decision-making, and overall mental health.

One powerful way to start is by understanding the unique way you experience emotions—and Lisa Feldman Barrett’s emotional model can help.

Understanding Barrett’s Emotional Model
Lisa Feldman Barrett, a renowned psychologist and neuroscientist, suggests that emotions can be mapped on two axes: pleasantness (how comfortable or uncomfortable an emotion feels) and activation (the level of energy it brings). Think of it as a compass for your inner world, helping you navigate what you feel.

For example:

• Sadness: Low energy, low pleasantness.
• Anger: High energy, low pleasantness.
• Excitement: High energy, high pleasantness.
• Feeling connected: Low energy, high pleasantness.

Here is a simple map to illustrate the idea:

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To learn more about Lisa Feldman Barrett's work, consider reading her book How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain (2017), which provides a detailed exploration of her research and theories. She also has TedTalks in youtube explaining her discoveries.

By identifying where an emotion sits on this spectrum, you can better understand and label it. The more accurate you use your language to refer how you or someone else feels, less missunderstandings you create when communicating. Words are powerful, they can heal or harm yourself and others.

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Why Emotions Feel So Unique
According to Barrett, emotions aren’t universal. They’re shaped by your culture, upbringing, and personal experiences. This means the way you experience joy, sadness, or shame is uniquely yours. This individuality often makes it hard to express or even fully grasp what you’re feeling.

Therapy provides a safe space to explore these emotions, helping you uncover patterns, understand triggers, and develop healthier ways to respond.

What About Mood?
While emotions are short-lived, intense experiences triggered by specific events, moods are more prolonged and less tied to immediate circumstances. According to Robert Thayer, moods can be understood as enduring emotional states influenced by energy and arousal levels. In his book The Biopsychology of Mood and Arousal, Thayer explains that moods act as a backdrop to your emotional state, shaping how you perceive and react to situations. For example, a positive mood might make you interpret events more optimistically, while a negative mood can lead to more critical or pessimistic views.

Understanding the difference between emotions and mood can help you navigate both. Emotions are like waves—they come and go quickly. Moods are more like the tide—a persistent presence that shapes your emotional landscape over time.

To delve deeper into Robert Thayer's insights, you can explore his book The Biopsychology of Mood and Arousal (1996), which provides valuable tools for understanding and managing moods.

Therapy can help you identify patterns in your moods and their triggers, offering strategies to shift negative moods or enhance positive ones.

Practical Tips to Explore Your Emotions

1. Try an Emotion Check-In: At different points in your day, ask yourself: How much energy do I feel right now? Is this feeling pleasant or unpleasant? Use Barrett’s model to label the emotion.
2. Keep an Emotion Journal: Write down your emotions daily and note the situations or thoughts that triggered them. Over time, you’ll notice patterns that help you better manage your emotional responses.
3. Practice Mindfulness: Techniques like mindful breathing or body scans can help you tune into your emotions without judgment, creating space for self-awareness and growth.

How Therapy Can Help
Building emotional intelligence isn’t always easy—it’s a skill that takes time and practice. Therapy can be a transformative tool, providing guidance and strategies tailored to your unique emotional landscape. In my practice, I integrate evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness to help clients better understand and navigate their emotions.

Whether you’re struggling with overwhelming emotions or simply want to deepen your self-awareness, therapy offers a supportive space to grow.

Take the First Step
Are you ready to explore your emotional world and improve your emotional intelligence? I’d love to guide you on this journey. Schedule an online or in-person session today and start discovering the power of your emotions. 

References

• Barrett, L. F. (2017). How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
• Thayer, R. E. (1996). The Biopsychology of Mood and Arousal. Oxford University Press.
• Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books.

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