Camilo Henríquez
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September 24, 2024
Therapy: A Space to Reframe Pain and Reconfigure the Mind
Therapy is much more than just a conversation between two people. It is a unique and profoundly human space where the therapist, using their knowledge of the mind and human behavior, helps the client process, organize, and structure their challenging experiences. This process not only alleviates suffering but also allows the client to reframe painful events and relate to their body and emotions in a different way, opening the door to new ways of living and acting in the world.
When a person has gone through painful experiences that they were unable to fully process (For example, rejection, mistreatment, betrayal, grieving, accidents, etc.), their body and mind tends to develop a defensive strategy to cope with it. These strategies are very unique and usually involve cognitive distortions with intense emotion reactions, such as anger, fear, and/or sadness, which emerge as protective responses to pain. Anger, for example, usually surfaces with rejection, aggression and judgments as a way to defend against perceived threats or injustices, while fear leads to an anxious mind that is always on alert, struggling trying to prevent a perceiving threat or painful experience.
Sadness, on the other hand, may emerge as another defensive emotion that activates when the pain becomes overwhelming, leaving the person feeling trapped, defenseless and vulnerable. In these moments, the person emotionally surrenders, instinctively seeking help or refuge. Although these emotions can seem overwhelming and feel uncomfortable, they also offer opportunities for self-understanding and insight into the pain experienced. What makes us vulnerable and uncomfortable usually impulses us to grow, connect, and change.
However, many people struggle to hold onto these intense emotions and choose to avoid them, deny them, or distort them, in order to not feel, think or accept the “catastrophe” of their pain. For them, the world takes on a dark, painful shadow from which there seems to be no escape, therefore, It may be easier to avoid instead of accept them.
However, accepting painful realities, though challenging, is the first step toward change. What I do in Therapy is provide a safe space where the individual can observe their pain without judgments and, gradually, begin to reframe and organize their painful experiences.
Emotional suffering doesn’t only affect the mind—it leaves its mark on the body too. Issues such as muscle tension, breathing difficulties, chronic pain, and even digestive problems are all ways the body signals its need for help when emotions have not been processed. The body acts as a barometer for our emotions, often manifesting suffering long before the mind can articulate it.
When these defense mechanisms remain active for extended periods, mental health inevitably deteriorates. Unprocessed emotions create a constant state of alarm, often leading to anxiety, panic attacks, desires to numb, or unexplainable sadness or anger against others or yourself. The body, exhausted, eventually forces the person to stop, either through physical symptoms or emotional breakdowns.
This is where therapy plays a crucial role. Through the therapeutic relationship, the client finds a safe space where they can begin to accept their pain and experiences without resorting to the defense mechanisms that have prolonged their suffering. Acceptance of pain does not mean resignation but rather observing, understanding, and, over time, reframing it.
This process is very difficult to explain in words, but most people understand while they walk through it in a therapeutic context.
However, I’ll try still to explaining it:
The therapist acts as a facilitator in this process, helping the client to reorganize their emotional history and, ultimately, reconfigure their mind. In this sense, therapy not only allows the processing of past experiences but also activates neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to change and adapt. Though widely understood, neuroplasticity supports the idea that by working through our emotions and beliefs, we are literally changing the structure of our brains, creating new ways to cope and respond to the inevitable suffering that comes with living.
As the client progresses in therapy, their relationship with painful emotions begins to shift. Gradually, they learn to observe their history from a new perspective, which facilitates the reorganization of their experiences and enables them to face events without entering defensive patterns. Over time, this ability to accept and process their emotions brings a greater sense of internal coherence, predictability, and understanding of their emotional states.
Ultimately, therapy is a transformative process that helps individuals connect with their body, emotions, and mind in new alternative ways. By reducing prolonged defensive states and facilitating the reframing of painful experiences, therapy allows clients to break free from patterns that have limited their lives, opening up new opportunities for growth and well-being.
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